My late mom was the epitome of a powerful woman: strong willed, articulate, educated and sophisticated. She was the most poised and dignified woman I’ve ever known. She handled conflicts with diplomacy and grace, and even at social events she was the most elegant woman there.
But long before she became this powerful woman, she had been through all kinds of dating disasters, life’s worst tribulations and an abusive marriage. She emerged a strong and powerful woman who went on to marry the most eligible bachelor in town, and the greatest man I ever knew, my late dad. And after she retired as a nurse, she became a politician who cared immensely about contributing to women’s causes. My mom taught me many great life lessons including these eight invaluable dating tips that I want share with you guys. 1. Act Like A Prize & You’ll Turn Him Into A Believer:
Men are designed to fall in love by making an effort to win you over. The more they work for it (a.k.a romance), the more they become invested (a.k.a having feelings), then the harder it is for them to give you up (a.k.a commitment). You don’t even have to play mind games or hard to get. You simply sit back, keep living your awesome life and allow him to do the work. Men love to impress a girl they like. They live for this kind of stuff because they are simply wired to fall in love by chasing you. Not the other way around.2. If He Doesn’t Give You A Time or Place, Then You Don’t Have A Date:
If you talked about getting together but he hasn’t yet committed to a time or place then you might as well make other plans because he has no intentions of calling you, spending quality time with you or committing to plans with you at this point in time. Maybe in the future but not just not right now. If he wanted to, he would have made an effort to commit to a time and a place. When a guy truly likes a girl, he calls and he makes plans with her of his own accord.3. If You Chase Him, He’ll Run Off:
Men like to have the best toys. Even when it comes to girls, they want to feel like they locked down the best girl on the market. As humans we are designed to attach the most value to things that we worked really hard to obtain. The things that seem almost unattainable are the most valuable. The ones that are too easy to come by are those we don’t seem to value. So when you become too available, unfortunately your value to a man actually decreases because he is not working hard at all to win you over. See # 1.4. Don’t Give Him Relationship Benefits Before A Commitment:
Don’t give him relationship benefits before he commits to a relationship (i.e no physical intimacy, no sexting, no responding to him after 10pm, no introducing him to close family or friends) until he gives you a title. If he likes you that much, he’ll give you a title and then you can award him all the aforementioned benefits. Until then, treat him like a friend but remain polite. This is basic entrepreneurship knowledge. You always need leverage to win a negotiation. My mom called this ‘The Art of Tactful Negotiation 101″.5. Demanding An Explanation From A Man Is A Sign of Desperation:
If there is something to be told, he will tell you in good time. Stop harassing him for answers and explanations. Demanding is a sign of desperation and insecurity. You are not yet his wife. You are not his fiance’. You are simply dating, hence he’s entitled to privacy. If you can’t trust him then simply find the door.6. A Man You Respect. A Woman You Love:
When you give him unconditional respect, he’ll give you unconditional love. All a man needs from a woman for him to be inspired to to work hard, be loyal and be in love with her forever is unconditional respect. Just as a woman needs unconditional love from a man in order to feel wanted, adored, cherished and cared for. Unconditional respect motivates a man to be all that he can be to a woman just like unconditional love motivates a woman to be all that she can be for a man.7: Men Only Treat You The Way You Treat Yourself:
How you treat yourself is the blueprint of how every man and every stranger you meet will treat you. Treat yourself with value & dignity, and he’ll gladly follow your lead. How you allow him to treat you in the first few weeks and months of dating is how he will treat you forever. So set good precedence right from the beginning by showing him that you are a girl of great values and if he wants you, he’ll have to treat you like a valuable prize that you are. It will be up to him to take it or leave it. When you start to exude qualities of a real lady, every man who comes around you will be inspired to exude qualities of a real gentleman. This actually applies to life in general.8. Your Value Does Not Decrease Based on His Inability To See Your Worth:
Another great statement that applies to life. Other people’s opinion of you is not a fact and just because other people can’t see your worth does not mean you have none. Things may not have worked out between you and an ex you loved so much but you are not to blame. Perhaps you were just a total mismatch. The right man or the right company will appreciate you just the way you are without so much as changing a single hair on your head. Yes you are good enough. Period!
This article was a tearjerker for me. Realizing that I wrote ‘late’ two different times about my mom and dad is almost surreal. They both passed away in the last 5 years. My great father did not live long after the love of his love (my wonderful mom) passed away. Thank you for reading guys. Let’s be friends: Follow me on Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest and like me on Facebook